Today I was thinking, I have a lot to offer! Now before you shut this page thinking, wow, this girl is so full of herself, hear me out. We oftentimes mistake humility and low self-esteem. There is a huge difference. Being humble doesn’t mean underestimating my value. Acknowledging that we have much to offer doesn’t make us prideful, but it means we know who we are and who God meant for us to be. We need to realize our worth, our value. I’m not sure how well guys would relate to this, but I’m quite certain that you ladies will know what I’m saying here. Sometimes we think we are being “humble” (when in reality we are experiencing low self-esteem or shooting ourselves down), and the end result is that we end up going to others for validation. We try to find our worth in others because we don’t believe that we truly are worth anything. There is such a difference between humility and low self-esteem. Yes, we are nothing, but that is compared to the immaculate glory of God, but we were created in His image, and we were made specially! We are worth so much, and believing it is not a sin. Believing we are worth nothing, now that is a slap in the face to the One who meticulously made us with love.
Today’s devotional really hit home, so I really want you to read and think about it.
Pain isn’t the worst thing. Being hated isn’t the worst thing. Being separated from the one you love isn’t the worst thing. Death isn’t the worst thing. The worst thing is failing to deal with reality and becoming disconnected from what is actual. The worst thing is trivializing the honorable, desecrating the sacred. What I do with my grief affects the way you handle your grief; together we form a community that deals with death and other loss in the context of God’s sovereignty, which is expressed finally in resurrection. We don’t become mature human beings by getting lucky or cleverly circumventing loss, and certainly not by avoidance and distraction. Learn to lament. Learn this lamentation. We’re mortals, after all. We and everyone around us are scheduled for death (mortis). Get used to it. Take up your cross. It prepares us and those around us for resurrection. –Eugene Peterson
Question to Consider: What might it mean for you to mature by entering the painful reality of your losses rather than avoiding them?
It’s unhealthy to shove away the reality of pain. I’m learning that the hard way. So what pain are you trying to push away? How can you open yourself up to God for healing?
God bless!
Marina
PLEASE KEEP THE PERSECUTED AND THOSE SERVING THEM, AS WELL AS THE ORPHANED IN YOUR PRAYERS!
To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, And a time to die; A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted; A time to kill, And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; A time to gain,
And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;
A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;
A time to love, And a time to hate; A time of war, And a time of peace.
I read this passage, and I tried to figure out, what season of my life am I in? Mourning? Maybe. Healing? Could be. Gain? Loss? What? I encourage you to think and pray about what season of your life you find yourself in. You need to figure out what season it is in your life so that you can benefit from it. I really liked a section from the devotional today: “And yet if I look more deeply, I may see the myriad of possibilities being planted to bear fruit in some season yet to come. In retrospect I can see in my own life what I could not see at the time—how the job I lost helped me find work I needed to do, how the “road closed” sign turned me toward terrain I need to travel, how losses that felt irredeemable forced me to discern meanings I needed to know. On the surface, it seemed that life was lessening, but silently and lavishly the seeds of new life were always being sown.” (Parker Palmer) Yes, sometimes it’s hard to admit when you are in a season of mourning or loss, in need of healing, but even during these times, there is much to gain whether you realize it now or not. And once you realize that you do need healing, you can ask it of the Father who will give freely of His mercy, grace, and healing. What season are you in?
God bless!
Marina
PLEASE KEEP THE PERSECUTED AND THOSE SERVING THEM, AS WELL AS THE ORPHANED IN YOUR PRAYERS!
The devotional from today’s Daily Journal is one that makes you think:
It is not true to say that God wants to teach us something in our trials. Through every cloud He brings our way, He wants us to unlearn something. His purpose in using the cloud is to simplify our beliefs until our relationship with Him is exactly like that of a child—a relationship simply between God and our own souls, and where other people are but shadows. Until other people become shadows to us, clouds and darkness will be ours every once in a while. Is our relationship with God becoming more simple than it has ever been?…Until we come face to face with the deepest darkest fact of life without damaging our view of God’s character, we do not yet know Him. –Oswald Chambers
Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, Where there is no standing; I have come into deep waters, Where the floods overflow me. I am weary with my crying; My throat is dry; My eyes fail while I wait for my God….
Let not the floodwater overflow me, Nor let the deep swallow me up; And let not the pit shut its mouth on me.
Hear me, O Lord, for Your lovingkindness is good; Turn to me according to the multitude of Your tender mercies.
I often feel like this, and it often makes me ashamed. Yet, here is David, a man after God’s own heart, telling God that he is sinking, that he is crying, that he feels helpless. If David had these feelings, then why am I ashamed of having similar feelings? It’s this shame that causes me all my problems. Because I feel ashamed, I don’t go to God with my feelings, and because I don’t go to God with my feelings, they just sit there and fester until I can’t take it anymore. Now here I am in a state of being that could have totally been avoided had I just been open with God about these feelings that I have. God doesn’t want me to shut out my feelings. He wants me to take them out into the light and let Him deal with them. Just as David was open with his feelings, so must I, and just as David had faith that God would deliver him, so must I.
God bless!
Marina
PLEASE KEEP THE PERSECUTED AND THOSE SERVING THEM, AS WELL AS THE ORPHANED IN YOUR PRAYERS!
The devotional in today’s Daily Journal was one that really asks you to think back:
There is an old story about a wise man living on one of China’s vast frontiers. One day, for no apparent reason, a young man’s horse ran away and was taken by nomads across the border. Everyone tried to offer consolation for the man’s bad fortune, but his father, a wise man, said, “What makes you so sure this is not a blessing?” Months later, his horse returned, bringing with her a magnificent stallion. This time everyone was full of congratulations for the son’s good fortune. But now his father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a disaster?” Their household was made richer by this fine horse the son loved to ride. But one day he fell off his horse and broke his hip. Once again, everyone offered their consolation for his bad luck, but his father said, “What makes you sure this is not a blessing?” A year later nomads invaded across the border, and every able-bodied man was required to take up his bow and go into battle. The Chinese families living on the border lost nine of every ten men. Only because the son was lame did father and son survive to take care of each other. Often, what appears like blessing and success is actually a terrible thing; what appears to be a terrible event turns out to be a rich blessing.
I don’t know about you, but there have definitely been times in which I thought something was great and full of success, only to find out that it was really more of a burden. Likewise, there have been countless situations in which I thought, God, why me? only to later realize that had X, Y, and Z not happened, I would not have received great blessings. Sometimes we just need to get out of our heads, get out of our control-mode, and let God do what is right. Let’s not look at things as good and bad right at the moment because you never know what God has in store next!
Today’s Daily Journal had a good question to consider:
What might be some unhealthy attachments or “idols” God wants to remove from your life in order to lead you to deeper, richer communion with Him?
I started making a list of the things God is asking me to remove from my life. I wrote what they were, elaborated, and wrote why they are taking a toll on my life. Looking through my list afterwards, I realized something. Every single thing on that list was detrimental to the quality of my life. God wants me to remove these idols for my own good, not for His. Isn’t it funny how we often think God wants me to do this and that because I owe Him when in reality He asks us to do or not to do things so that we may live a fuller life?
Devotional: When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven—there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives and hurt my very soul. Love—the word—it brings nothing. I am told God loves me—and yet the reality of darkness and coldness and emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul…In spite of all—this darkness and emptiness is not as painful as the longing for God…Before I could spend hours before Our Lord—loving Him—talking to Him—and now—not even meditation goes properly. Yet deep down somewhere in my heart that longing for God keeps breaking through the darkness…My soul is just like an ice block—I have nothing to say. –Mother Teresa
I wish I could say I didn’t relate to these feelings, but I do. Let’s be honest, we all run into times in which we can’t seem to find God. This is MOTHER TERESA for Pete’s sake! So if Mother Teresa had these feelings, how much more will I, someone who hasn’t even scraped the surface of my relationship with God compared to her, have these feelings? I’ll share my prayer with you, and I encourage you to cry out to God despite what emptiness or darkness you may be experiencing.
Oh God, this is how I feel. I long for something other than the emptiness and darkness I can’t seem to shake. I’m looking for You. I’m trying to find You again. I used to take joy in none other than You. I used to go to You for everything, talk to You about everything. I used to care for nothing but You. But now? Now I feel like even when I spend hours trying to meditate on You and find You all I can find is myself and my own emptiness. I long for the joy and the peace that comes only from You. I long to delight in You and only You. I know this feeling inside me is crying out for You. I know this gaping hole is Yours to fill, but how? I’m struggling. The longing is there, but why isn’t it being filled? Make things right dear Jesus. Fill me. Help me delight in You.
God is asking you to rend your feelings to Him, to rend all to Him. It’s difficult, especially in times in which you feel alone and empty, but rend your heart to Him.
God bless!
Marina
PLEASE KEEP THE PERSECUTED AND THOSE SERVING THEM, AS WELL AS THE ORPHANED IN YOUR PRAYERS!
Heather Owen recently started this blog calledA Girl Like Me, and in her post, “Flat As A Board” she challenged her readers to write “I am more than what I see” on their mirrors as a reminder that we truly are more than what can be seen. Funny thing about thispicture. I wrote this on my mirror three days ago, and since then wanted to get a good picture to post. I’m shaking my head at the despicable irony in this. Finally today I decided, screw it. If I truly believe I am more than what I see then the first picture I take, that’s the picture I’m putting up. It took me THREE DAYS to do this. Isn’t it funny how I am so quick to say something or write something, but when it comes to truly believing, I can’t muster up even a mustard seed of faith in God or in myself? I am more than what I see. I am more than what I see. I am more than what I see.
